Swag (novel)

Swag

First hardcover edition
Author	Elmore Leonard
Language	English
Genre	Crime/Contemporary
Publisher	Delacorte Press
Publication date	1976
Publication place	United States
Media type	Hard cover
Pages	229
ISBN	0-440-18424-X
Followed by	Stick

Swag is a crime novel by Elmore Leonard, first published in 1976 and since also released as an audio recording. The first paperback edition was published under the alternative title of Ryan's Rules.

Ernest Stickley, Jr. reappears in Stick.

Plot summary

Frank Ryan is an almost honest used car salesman, who after deliberately not testifying against car thief Ernest "Stick" Stickley, Jr., thinks of a foolproof plan for them to perform armed robberies. The plan is about simple everyday armed robbery. Supermarkets, bars, liquor stores, gas stations, etc. Because the statistics prove that this armed robbery pays the most for the least amount of risk, they start their business and earn three to five thousand dollars a week. To prevent getting caught Frank introduces 10 golden rules for successful armed robbery:

1. Always be polite on the job and say please and thank you.
2. Never say more than necessary. Less is more.
3. Never call your partner by name-unless you use a made-up name.
4. Never look suspicious or like a bum and dress well.
5. Never use your own car.
6. Never count the take in the car.
7. Never flash money in a bar or with women.
8. Never go back to an old bar or hangout once you have moved up.
9. Never tell anyone your business and never tell a junkie even your name.
10. Never associate with people known to be in crime.

For a while, Frank and Stick are able to follow the rules and the plan and they are extremely successful. They even rob the robber who just robbed the bar they were in. But, inevitably, the rules start falling by the wayside and when they see a chance for a big score, the rules go out the window, with predictably disastrous results.

Characters

Frank & Ernest

Frank Ryan is a used car salesman living in Detroit.

Ernest "Stick" Stickley Jr. is visiting Detroit from Florida, he's a serial car jacker.

You can just guess how those two meet.

Sportree's Bar

Sportree, black Detroit criminal, friend of Frank's.

Leon Woody, black criminal associate of Sportree's, huh? Sportree's got Woody, Frank's got Stick.

Carmen Billy Ruiz, boxer turned criminal, fought Chuck Davey, an associate of Sportree's as Well.

LaGreta, Sportree's cousin, a maid.

Marlys, LaGreta's daughter who is friendly with Frank.

The Hotel Gals

Arlene, a little freckled Jew mistress to a man who pops in once in a while driving a Lincoln Mark IV, she's also a racecar model and poses next to dragsters, she and Stick have a thing.

Karen, a schoolteacher, off for the summer.

Jackie, a cocktail waitress who works a The Ball Joint and wheres a kitty outfit when at work, she has the biggest pair at the Villa Monterey, "Even without the cat suit, if they fall out they're liable to kill someone like a wrecking ball" -Frank

Mary Kay Sullivan, a cute reserved nurse, "skinny but wide with a very generous pelvic region" -Frank

Donna, a dental hygienist, "she's the last thing on my to-do list" -Frank

Sonny, a model Frank's got eyes for 'til he doesn't, "Skinny, no tits to speak of, bony hips, dumb looking hair, no personality, she stands there with her box pushed out like she was daring anyone to take it, it's like she's fucking battery-operated, she's got a little button you press, she says "Hi, I'm Sonny, I'm a model, so fuck off" -Frank

Mona, a mysterious prostitute Stick has eyes for until he doesn't.

The Villa Monterey

Barry Kleiman, owner of a successful McDonald's franchise who's hits it off with Sonny at a party which causes Frank to go off on his "Myth Of The Pussy" speech.

"Quiet Good-Looking" Ron, "Just Regular" Ron & Scott, three young businessmen who live together under Frank & Stick's.

"Mr. Mark IV", likes to cheat on his wife with Arlene once in a while.

Gordon, Donna's boyfriend who's working on his PHD.

The Kaplans, young married couple.

Criminals

Andrew Seed & Walter Wheeler, two black guys Stick guns down after they try to rob him after he and Frank robbed another place, "Wish I could've seen their faces, I'd have helped you" -Frank

"Hold Up Bar With A Shotgun Guy", amateur criminal (according to Frank & Stick) who sticks up a bar Frank & Stick are relaxing in, after he robs the place Frank & Stick decide to rob him of his robbings.

Victims Of Crime

"The Armenian Shopkeeper", guy wouldn't give up his money cuz he didn't have any.

"Window Cleaner Dude", poor dude.

Not all quotes are exact, but say pretty as much is said in book, some quotes are combined to comedic effect.

Notes

Frank Ryan

External links

• Swag at Elmore Leonard.com